Chew on this

Why would anyone want a burden? You have to make yourself a prize before he can see you as one. What exactly are you giving him to work for? What would he gain from making the extra effort? Encourage the tiny things. Think of it as practice for the big things. Would you “long” to be with someone who always made you feel like poop? What makes you think he’s any different?

If you are a prize then it will make him feel more important. Like he’s a man. Ouch. There in lies the reason why you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of someone else. You can’t spend your time waiting for someone else to make life worth living. Emotions are contagious. Spread the emotions you want to be around. If you’re always cranky so will others. If you're happy, others will be too.

Reality check

I'm at a place where all this negativity is killing me, physically, not metaphorically. So I've made the decision that I'm not getting divorced and I am going to find a way to make this marriage work. Knowing that it's impossible to change someone else, I am starting to change myself. First, I have to give up on my husband being the man I wished he was and start accepting him for what he is. Part of that means I have to live my life as if I'm not married. At least in the way my mind understands married, meaning the man takes care of certain things. So as of today, I'm setting my mind that I'm a single mom who happens to have some funny guy living with me (He really is a funny guy). Wish me well and I'll keep posting the ramblings of my brain for all to gawk at.

Ewwww I ended a sentence with a preposition! let's just pretend for a moment that we're all Japanese and I'm allowed to use postpositions. Okay? Thanks!