You didn't really say that.

Wow, anyone remember Blasphemous Rumors? I'm beginning to think it completely applies to my life. The whole "when I die, I expect to find him laughing". Yep that's it Some big sick joke.

One day older and what do you get?

This is really hard and it sucks ass. Sorry for the language, but it really does. I'm really having a hard time finding a reason to live. I'm so sick of the day to day struggle for THIS life. What the hell am I fighting for anyway? Truth is, my main reason for not just taking myself out is that I don't trust him to raise the kids. I'm sure my mom would have to take care of them and I'm not real sure that she cares enough to give them a good life. On the other hand, I'm not sure the life I'm giving them is much better. I remember a time when I enjoyed playing with my kids. I took them everywhere with me. Maybe it's that I have no where to go. I just sit in my cave and watch the days go by. The husband never wants to do anything but sleep, so really, what's the point? Blah